Monday, September 19, 2022

the voices said to get a therapist

 BELIEVE ME, yall

i know i need help.

i never posted my writings because i could only 

hear

my parents saying

"why would you write this"


the last time i saw my dad it was to drive me to the E.R. 

i cried most of the time and apologized


i said 

"this is only going to work if you don't ask me any questions"


and then he drove me like an uber driver because it was 

the 

only 

way

i

could

stand

being 

in his

presence


without some unspoken pressure to succeed

what happens when you dangle the carrot of emotional affection 

without ever saying "i love you" ? 


how will the child know that you're proud?

how will the child ever measure up to an image YOU had for them to be? 


why did crystal smitherman go into politics? does she really want to be a politician?

or are older black men jaded by what the world stole from them?

so they push their daughters

to do what they couldn't

because women are the only reason

ANYBODY 

is alive.

control a woman and you can

do

whatever

you 

want. 


because society hasn't proved that wrong yet.


that steve martin sketch with aidy bryant pissed me off so much

but it's because it was supposed to. 


please, SNL, steal me away from this pain. 

only media understands me.

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