y'all i didn't know kevin was completely made up.
kevin is a mashup of desperation, lack of affection, and communication issues.
i had to make kevin up to get out and i didn't know until i was laying in the ER wondering why i was so sad.
i only know i made kevin up because i've been exploring my body and my memories of my body.
when i was 12, i was on the internet telling men i was 19. sometimes they liked me more when they found out the truth.
i went out with them, got sexy with them.
but best of all: it was a secret that i had over my parents and they had no idea.
once i had a secret of my own, i was able to hear myself.
i've always been able to remember everything from 12 on because that's when I started having sex.
I could choose when and where.
this was the beginning of the internet, when you could trust people.
i put trust in what these men could teach me about my body because my mother gave me a book.
my father and i still haven't talked about sex.
why am i decidedly not aroused by older black bald men?
why are there "uncles" of the family that we don't talk about anymore?
...worse, why am i about to be a bald bitch the rest of my life? 😢
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