i didn't remember my childhood clearly until i was laying in the hospital bed, staring at the ceiling.
there are so many things that i overlooked in my introspective dives.
i've always been someone to ask why? i learned that from the devil.
but there was one why i could never figure out.
why did my parents adopt me if my mother got her tubes tied?
i always had to push that question down because I was taught that it was inpolite to ask personal questions of my parents.
i have struggled a very very very very verv yr vyr long time to type the above sentence so i'm gonna need you to stop rolling your eyes at my experience and fucking hear what i'm saying:
my adoptive parents used emotional and physical affection as a reward only after i did what i was told.
shut up, i know i'm just a whiny little bitch. please don't hate me. please don't leave me. please don't close this book. i just need to explain. please. please.
please just let me explain.
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