endless

She calls, today, to wish Leo a happy birthday. "Here's to twenty-seven more!" Only in his wildest dreames would he die that soon - most days felt like an endless tango into the great unknown, but you never actually get to see the face of the person who's leading you. They hold your hand and stride confidently across the dance floor but you never get a close enough look.

She wants to know how he's been. She wants to know if he's still in school, if he's still in college. Is he persuing his truest dream? Does he really feel satisfied, or is he just settling? Does he still talk to his mother? Has she provided any advice? She's probably right  - mothers know best. He's rolling his eyes - it's all for show, they both know they want to get down to the nitty gritty of their mutual connection.

"I saw him flirting with someone else today."

"Oh yeah, I noticed that too. I wouldn't worry too much about him."

"Him, like, Austin? Or him like - " She pauses for a long time, and it almost comes out in a whisper - " Another guy? "

The responding pause goes on much longer than it should.

"Well, that's ... good. Right? It's good that he's moving on?"

Leo hesitates, taking a drag of his cigarette. "Yeah, progress is always good."

"It's not like..you want him to come back...right?"

"Right." The response is immediate, practiced. "It's better this way, we're two very different people. He's got stuff to figure out and I....I need time alone."

"You can lie to yourself, Leo, but don't you dare lie to me. We've known each other too long for that."

He sighs, exhaling the plume of smoke. "Yeah, okay. I'm just...confused. One minute he's sniffing around me, joking about getting back together and the next minute he's flirting with some redhead barista about coffee grounds. I don't care, I just want a straight answer."

"You and I both know we'll never get a straight answer out of him. That boy was born queerer than a three-dollar bill."

"Yeah, well, I'm about to take that bill to the bank to make some change. " His voice is bristling, teetering on the edge of being upset.

"I don't understand why you don't get another job. Isn't it weird to see him every day?" Leo can hear low crying start up in the background.

"It would be weirder if I didn't see him, if I'm being honest with you. At least I can keep up with him, make sure that he's doing okay. I'm afraid to leave because..you know...what if that's the end?"

There's a long pause and he can hear her picking up the baby, can hear her soft chortling through the phone as Valorie balances her attention between his fragile ego and the miracle of life.

"Honestly, Leo, would that be so bad? You literally just said progress is always good. Maybe it's time to shut this door. Open the window, all that stupid cheesy shit."

Leo takes another long drag from his cigarette. "Only time will tell. Thanks for listening, Val. Give Jillian a kiss for me."

"I will, sweetie. Thanks for finally answering the phone, you spastic boy. I hope you have a happy birthday, Squish."

He puts out his cigarette as he ends the call, staring up as the wind whipped the trees back and forth.