blame

i've slowly been asked to introduce myself
so i've begun to reduce myself
reel it all in, like i can't tell a friend
really let em in? where would i even begin?
start from the start, from growing up alone
no siblings to show me I've much less than grown?
or maybe at the middle, when i finally find my voice
when mom doesn't understand it but the friends rejoice
or what about later, when just what i thought i knew
is blown up in my face and i only know blue.
sad and aggressive, smoking trees for days
mad and obsessive, but the t is here to stay
when i really found kev, was when i found my glee
and finally gave up my parents' degree
i chose to work, to toil, to somehow raise a family
hell, when i had a lot of rats they all called me daddy
but i always kept pestering, i know how to work for what i  want
and every person next to me always has to share their experience
so everything will swirl, the bruises from the past become relevant
for when i arch for victory, reach out my hands to reinvent
i'll realize that i probably should have tried a sober covenant