best saturday

I really like the point of view of this story. We aren't exactly in the head of Journee, our main character, but we're close enough that we can see her thoughts and her reactions to her surroundings and receive her input. There was a part, however, that seemed like it was dipping into the thoughts of Karla and I wondered if it was supposed to be third person omniscient. If that were the case, I think we would have a look at what Sam thinks of the kids. It would provide some humor, even, to include her point of view and get an exact description of what the two girls look like to her.

Overall, the description was really great. Not only did the author paint the scene of the projects, but they also provided little details that solidified the characters and really made it realistic. I wish there had been a little more description of the actual projects, because the author does a really good job of painting the girls as poor by describing their clothes and their actions but not so much the state of their physical homes, which may not even be necessary since the story takes place at a gas station.

 Basically, Journee is going about her Saturday routine, wishing that things were better. I like the fact that it's just a slice-of-life story of how Journee decided that Saturdays weren't all that bad. There is a conflict at the very get-go with Journee's hatred of Saturdays and it was kind of obvious that something good was going to happen today, what with the title and all. Journee seems to have changed: she no longer hates Saturdays which I think is simplistic. A child in the third grade isn't going to reach self-actualization in one story so I really like that this is a sliver of how her day was made better.

The dialogue was only weird in one place and that was just the introduction of Karla. Everything else seemed believable and really like the mind of third graders chatting as they look for something to do. I really like the "stupid taxes" line as well as Karla and Journee's thoughts on what to do with the money.

I don't think that this is the typical story - crazy events building up to some climax and then resolution. I think that this is telling a story, revealing some details of the people that are in the story, and then something awesome happens and then it closes. It isn't boring; I found the descriptions and the detail of Journee and Karla to be interesting and provide a good pace for the rest of the story. I'll admit, I was a little surprised that they found a one hundred dollar bill on the ground and, like children, decided to bury it instead of doing something, but I think it provides to that child mentality and reminds the reader that two nine year olds found one hundred dollars and buried it instead of enabling drug use.

I do wonder - what's going on with the little flashback to Sean and Journee's mother? What triggered that memory in her mind? I understand that the police/Sam might have brought forth that image, but I can't see the relevance to that part of the story or how it ties in. When there was a "flashback" talking about Marcus, you could kind of tie it in because that's where Karla got the money from and you had to explain 1) why the money was unattended and 2) why Karla could just slip in there and take it. But in the Sean flashback, there isn't anything that really ties it back to the current story, making it kind of hang off to the side. Journee does warn Karla on the dangers of stealing so that seems relevant so I might just suggest a stronger image that triggers Journee into her flashback about Sean.