time out

mysteries aside, this is the beginning of light
enigmas galore, enemies ducked out of sight
people always say you gotta stay lit, gotta stay high
but what if i just wanna sit in the dark to have a good cry?
not because i'm sad or things didn't go my way
but maybe it's because that's how i end my day
after rubbing elbows with the small town elite
i slink back to my cave to lazily beat my meat
secluded but dripping in self-satisfaction
anything to get my mind off loving your distraction
i bubble and burst when you walk through the door
i scream and roll around on the floor
i've damaged my goods because i'm too anxious to stop
as i dip and i dance, floating in mismatched socks
the time we spend worrying, trying to please the few
is energy better spent obsessing over you
no wait, that's unhealthy, i should keep to myself
oh, fuck it, just give my space so, alone, i can melt.

dustty

clogged, corrupted arteries
blossom and blister, to melodies
so when i fall, tread with ease
i always get lost in memories
savor the time we have until
the moon is full, until i go shrill
screaming your name, wishing for more
playing your game, sweeping your floor.
i know this dance, i've seen your eyes
i'll go prance between the aisles
make you duck and dip around the corner
constantly avoiding your mini-scorner
i'll stop and glare, just, abrupt
until you look away, cold, corrupt
you've seen my gaze, you've swallow my glance
there's more than you know to giving me chance.
come, let's frolick in the light of the moon
but please, oh please, just let it be soon.

slant rant

how loud must i bellow??
how hard must i roar?
what kind of fellow
would make his friend sleep on the floor!!
i have the room, yes
i have the space,
but what about me?
i need MY place!
this one's for me,
but you can't see it either
you don't give a shit
you're a busy beaver
i think you're cute
but damn you like to fuck
at least i own a suit
and i've got Some Kind of Luck.
just when i thought
i had boundaries figured out
just when i'd bought
enough emotions to not doubt
my own words, and my own voice
i still fall back, which was my own choice
i should be more responsible
i still got my tonsils in
when will i get the responses in
when will i rid these monster tits
glow up, shape up, fondle this?
take a step back, launch this shit.
i kept my distance,
i gave up the space
i haven't cried yet
but you haven't seen my face.
and maybe it's all fate
maybe it's what i deserve
maybe i'm supposed to help
but maybe i should have been curved

i hate that these motherfuckers think that i'm dumb
i hate that they're crass, i hate that they're numb
they fuck and fight and scream and throw
they smile and slash, don't dream or do blow
(not that they should, i'm shocked by my habit,
i shouldn't either but boy when i have it...)

it drives me crazy, being the only one
who can support y'all broke asses,  to be a one and done
i got fucking finessed and it pisses me off
that he thinks he's being clever, that at me - he scoffs
because i don't need you, bitch
i don't need to fuck
i just thought it'd be fun
but i guess i should pluck
myself from this scenario,
pull myself from the scene
"Oh he's gonna come over"
man, are you fucking kidding me?

get the fuck gone,
go on somewhere else
i'm too fucking sensitive
to silence myself
and i know everyone around
is always focused on themselves
i just wanna do the same thing!
not search for a belt!
either this ain't the place
or this ain't the time
it shouldn't be a race,
but i also wanna find
out who i'm becoming,
find out who i could be
find out what to be strumming
find out what might be my glee

i'm only inspired
when i have what i don't want
i only aspire
to what i could flaunt.
and i can tell from talking
that i'm just another body
you should probably get to walking
cause i'm a special kind of naughty
i'm too bad for you
you don't deserve what i've got
things happened in midnight dew
i found my cemetary plot.

here lies a man, broken and bitter
here lies a boy, smoking and jittery
he never said no, he could only agree
he always paid the highest in emotional fees
the only friends that listened, he pushed away
when his love started to glisten, they'd gather around and pray
they tried to support him, they tried to smile back
he tried to proportion it so he could give it all back
he never succeeded, in finding his voice
he never did end up making that choice
not because he didn't have time
he had all the time in the world
but with that planetary trine,
he turned to throw his own words

>(

talentless but common folk
manage this or bond to blokes
never alone but forever lonely
never time to harvest money
constantly barren, left to rot
nothing's fair in earth's nonthreatening plot
and even as we echo into silence
we don't feed the need to suck up, repent
for all that we are, all that we represent
is a mixing pot of values, all still on sent
never delivered to the source of woe
never received by friend or foe
so listen now, or please listen here
the times grow harder but no time for fear
cause mixing and mingling seems fun, on read
but for plans we waste time until, we stay on dread
and even as we embrace this violent cacophony
we let our spirits soar into promised charcuterie
so we finally let go, when we finally breathe
we gasp: oh shit! i'm hungry - it's time to feed.