el fin

this may seem like i'm just repeating
i may sound like i'm really bleeding
but i need a way to get this out
i need to found a way to shout
i'm done with this!
i'm done with y'all!
i'm past this shit
i'm ready to fall
i need my room
i need my place
i need to zoom
to another time in space
free me out, let me breathe
let me go, just let me grieve
grieve for what couldn't be
grieve for the different me
the one who used to let you walk
the one who smiled instead of talked
the one who opened up if they asked
the one who buckled down to bare my ass
this time is for good, you all can keep it
i'll never say i told you so
this is the deep end
this is the The End
the one people want
what they don't know is
you have to work so
you can flaunt
this isn't easy, living on the land
away from everyone, with no legs to stand
you get the web and you get electricity
and, sure, you even get to live in eccentricity
but what you don't know, what you don't see
is there is no I, there is only we
and if you weren't a part of that
you're just a pawn,
you're merely a stat
that can be redrawn
they'll feed you whatever to keep their stance
but you're easily replaced with other hands
they are pack and you're an intern
you're a slave who was sent to burn
burn your light until you're snuffed
do the work but you're never stuffed

cause farm life means groceries
means you're gonna live on the cheap cheap
cause you have no right to feel happy
not when you're got a job and live for free
you thought that the life you wanted
you thought it's be cool to have no warrant
but you were wrong, but at least you tried
you tried to stay strong, instead you died
but you were brought here for a reason,
you had to sweat out, sweat out this season.
so you could see: it's not all goats and eggs
it's spiders, it's bees, it's hours of dreads
it's reading, it's giving, it's surrendering your life
it's speeding, it's thrifting, it's being a house wife
doing the things no one wants to do
cuddling your dog till you're needed to
to do some other task, some other job
something they won't cause they seem like slobs
i don't hate them, i love the place
i only know that i need my space
i need some time to see my face
i need some room to reclaim my race
i bubble up, my pot's too full
the water's ready: it's time to cull.