ewww

They're laughing as they tumble through the trees, branches leaping out to snatch their bubbles of mirth as they zigzag around the path. They've been here before but this feel different, this feels new.

Eli is giddy, his blue cowboy hat bouncing along on the back of his neck, hanging from the stray piece of orange twine he attached to the hat edges years ago. He's clutching a spray paint can in his left hand and an unlit cigarette in the right as he ducks underneath a spiderweb, grin nearly splitting his face in two.

Leo is laughing too loud and branches are licking at his naked body, welting him and marking him with little bruises as he tromps down the hill. A dark green backpack bounces on his bare shoulders, slapping his sweaty back with every step he takes. 

They shouldn't be having this much fun, but they are. 

shots shots shots shots shots shots

carelessly, callously creating calligraphy
fearlessly, phallicly fighting photography
moshing and melting, molding malignancy
lending to laymans' literal lethargy
---
emotional tugs with claws of guilt
never knowing when leaves will wilt
soaring high above icy plains
feverishly fixing now-set growing pains
breathing, choking, coughing smoke
snoring, dozing, dreaming woke
---
messily match on broke dreams
fervently fasting for finicky fiends
so you can see, the best of me
but then i withdraw, i tend to flee.
----
fresh but fickle, fanning forgotten dreams
trying too tirelessly to take down tumultuous scenes
caught in a settlement, in one of the first thirteen
we pay our dues, hoping to truly be seen.
---

worthy/unworthy/worthy

tender thighs refuse to soothe
find your voice to mail me a groove
the sender lies, a problematic fave
postmarked for destiny, written to fate
return what's left of me, do not be late.
tossing and turning, flipping and reeling,
sealed with a kiss, come unwrap my feeling.
---
maybe it's lucky that things won't work
maybe i needed to find my raw, silly mirth
maybe this cold season gives flames to motivate
maybe this pain in my side will try to captivate
maybe what's keen is what's meant to be
maybe i'm supposed to just let him go free
maybe i'm deaf, dumb, and blind to obvious choices
maybe i should listen to those internal voices
maybe we're made for something bigger than this
maybe i should chase something more than a kiss
---
mesmorized by skeletons, we take a puff
sinking into the melanin, let me make you blush
alcohol plastered to the skin, when will be enough?
hazy fog, breath it in, alright, now show me your stuff.

believer

misery compells us to be our better self
but miserly components cause us to delve
into grandiose  dreams, illusions of grand
but ever remain seated, too afraid to stand
for something bigger, faster, stronger than you
the collective must starve for the wants of the few
\we end up more broken, but somehow less loss
yet at the future we turn, at the future we scoff

future man

destiny knocks twice if you listen well
curves your attempts to quell the spell
alerting your friends that you've come undone
by making you afraid to love someone
come, let it embrace you, freefall alone
feel that love down to the bone
give, give, give, for your cup is full
push, push, push but don't forget to pull

pulled over

He's pacing back and forth in his room. The dog watches him curiously, perched on the back of the loveseat. She doesn't move but sighs often.

His phone chimes from somewhere in the bathroom and he leaps to check it, though he hesitates on actually reading it.

Too quick to see, you'll get a piece of me. 

He frowns at the sudden, intrusive thought and holds the phone in front of him face up.  He glares at his pouted reflection for a moment and clicks the screen on, culture washing him face in pale blue.

"Are you ready yet? I can't wait around forever."

Leo begins responding quickly. "Yeah, gimme fifteen. I'll be ready."

He's scurrying around his room, gathering little items into a bag. His wallet, his pocketknife, his cigarettes, his flask, his keys, his lucky feather, and an assortment of other things. He pulls the drawstring bag over his shoulders and tugs a jacket over that.

His phone chimes again.

"Meet at the cemetary. Wait, no, I'll just pick you up."

Leo smiles, clucking his tongue at his teeth.

hiking

now i lay me down to waste
i pray, one day, to touch your face
we'll never have to stay in one place
cause we're all chasing, in the same race
finish line in sight, we loosen up
headed straight for that winners' cup
that overflows with independent renaissance
rewarded for our selfish reckless ambiance
bof giving our all, of leaving nothing out
we fight our fight, we face our bout
so when the gun fires and you take off
i'll never stutter, i'll never cough
give me inches and i'll tell you no lies
in this running catastrophe of masculine wiles
come marinate in my juices of creativity
so you can raid my room for object proclivity
of strutting, of acting, of passions galore
come run me down ragged until i beg for more
for ever all good things can come to an end
i'll be waiting for you just around the river bend

chopped

malaise and regret, familial sacrifice
cool pace and Bastet, grabbing a slice
peaking but peaky, sloppy but nice
we may be broken, but we rolled the dice
maybe it's magic but maybe it's fate
maybe we're lost, maybe we're late
cause it all comes down to flaws & favors
we keep up the clause, to create a flavor
we bleed and we swear of errant memories
we flaunt and we flare for forgotten felonies
and though it surges, presses to the bone
we try to take a look & turn to stone
a sudden glance, wrapped up in a bliss
we hope for a firm but wayward kiss
cause even though it's messy, forced, posed
this town is still filled with beautiful bros
they call for attention, they call for covert
they keep you too tense, they keep you alert
but even though this isn't even near the end
i'm glad you're here, i'm glad you're my friend

ferver

we stay reborn, so what else is new?
in a room too crowded, still feels like few
brushing with fate, with meticulous dreams
always try living on the barest of means
merkaba spinning, lights lit in ablaze
please come see me, don't be a phase
i'll keep your secrets, if you want me to
i'll read the room if you're feeling blue
i'll dip and swerve and keep the vibe
i'll help you think, i'll be your scribe
time swoons and croons while we all slip away
caught in constellations splayed beyond the milky way
and though it always feels as though we might burst
we all still manage to show our suffocating worst
so here's to delights and errors and duplicitous ways
i adore you for real, you're not just a great lay

wallow

struggling for sober, we tear the seams
always feeling colder, we look to dreams
to tell what's real, to find a plot
even at the end, we ache to start.
flipping through watery logs
treading water with timid dogs
keeping pace, won't ever submit
these feelings surge, never to relent.
creating perfection, we try to be fair
stifling production to fix your hair
cause waiting is something, worth the most
but changing is better, from coast to coast.
dying means nothing in the big picture
because all the people who also make the mixture