calling

with lusting lost
and everything to gain
whistle for me, lover,
and we'll hop on the train

i was wrong, you were the one
your lips just felt so good on the tongue
i can resist these lustful urges so that i can spend time with you
until we find the time, the place, and the space to start anew

c.c.

now he says it with annoyance,
as if he knows, or has clairvoyance
remind me of your sign again?
does it matter? when is the weekend?
he'll be gone, lost in the family
while we're here, dutifully scanning
looking for a place so i can move on
so i can call you, to be your bail bond
i really did push, more than i meant
but pleast don't be done, please don't be spent.

my bad

the day is new and so are you
a little overcast but forever blue
things have changed, but where are you?
don't need weed to pass the time
i get fucked up, and forget my line
let's go to work, sober as a nun
jack of all trades but master of none
obsessively search for meaning behind
the time you were born, no need to rewind
i fucked up, claimed to be alive
but i told a tall tale and i wanna dive
back into your beautiful depths
come back to me and we'll keep unkempt.

scotch tape

worried here or pleasant there
covered mohawk or tension squared
empty giggles and deadened eyes
acura searching, forever surprise
statue tumble and edgy toes
sunken eyes and pledging vows
caught in concern, milling about
sticking to remount and instilling doubt

not that i miss him
   (ok maybe i do)
but with the way i framed it
it was either me or you
with nothing left to do
but sink into the blue
missing nights were prudent, dude
but together we can film our nudes
to then salivate over, as if our food
until we both are able to conclude
that the interlude
only made me lust for you
cause you were my glue
to keeping my crazy 'do
remain so cool
and sadly here, without you
i've come apart

i'm nearly split in two.

green light

i awoke with feverish pride
too early for work but too early to die
horns echoing out of hoods of blue
casual candor over peoples' doom

i am yours now, you societal beast
i prepare food with love, a neverending feast

destined for love and the greatest happening
they still spill our blood over colin kaepernick
they play with us but we aren't them
that white american village, with a virtual blend
of the melting pot, aimed at peace
poured over jobs, or the feelings - at least.

what's this? what's this?

i can't drink you away
i've tried jack i've tried coke
i just wish to stay woke
i can't drink you away

i can't remember your tired eyes
but i miss your adorable smile
why don't i see him with better eyes?
why can i not supervise my own demise?

i can't steam you away
i've tried goats, i've tried weights,
i've tried all of these mates

i can't scare you away
i've tried texts, i've tried feels,
i've tried lifting my wheels

i can't dream you away
i've tried boys, i've tried meth,
i've tried giving my breath

oops

i like you and i want to taste
instead of ruining, of laying to waste
i remember you and your supple lips
i miss you and your subtle rips
the ones where you tear me down
make me giggle but never frown
i long for you, for normalcy
but i'm stuck in ever-present truancy
i wish i saw you to celebrate your birth
to give you backbone and a sense of worth
but i ruined it, no, i ruined Us
i got caught up in the sacred blood

reflect

so after i got done licking off the cheesy wet sticky dust off my bitten,bleeding cuticles and picking mushed almond & rice crackers out of my poorly maintained yellowing teeth after having smoked a bowl just a nug too big, after stepping out to go to the cash wash to vacuum the inside of Felicia out after months of neglected soggy tortilla chips spilled a dry-heavingly long time ago, i realized i was hungry again and had spent my money on an experience instead of groceries, like originally planned.

coward v3

sargeant moon reporting for duty
i swear i'm fine, no need to be moody
hungry or nah? we test our limits
thirsty for drawers, of cutting lemons
slick retreat while the bills are paid
respond to junior - don't you want to get laid?

frantic meetings, at best A Date
i guess you'll just have to wait
wait some more, til you're old
don't get obsessed but don't be bold

resurrect the ancient feelings of "love"
try to remember to look above
cause it's all connected, it's all here to glaze
now all i gotta do is forget how to blaze

bpd refill

i am consumed by flavors of the week
it starts out dry until the meat
play it shy, hide the freak
acting cool and being meek

i woke up like this: high
i smoke up like this: why
i looked up at this: bye
i spoke up like this: hi

it might have been fun at first
but not speaking your mind feels like the worst
sober is boring, drinking is too
so it's back to crashing, hoping for the boys in blue

i stay crazed mainly 'cause it's inane
to fuck with the pain in your brain
while you're lame and trying to stay on the train
then you try to leave your stain on the game

check up

sergeant moon reporting for duty
i swear i'm fine, no need to be moody

hungry or nah? we test our limits
thirsty for cocks, for cutting lemons

slick retreat while the bills are paid
respond to junior - don't you wanna get laid?

frantic meetups or host a date
i guess you'll just have to wait

wait some more until you're old
don't get obsessed but don't be bold

resurrect ancient feelings of "love"
try to remember to look above

cause it's all connected, it's all here to glaze
now all i gotta do is forget how to blaze.

romance:?

those precious eyes
that hanging hair
that tempting smile
that rueful stare

the forgotten memory
of love tries to fade
valentines around the corner
hop on the wave

zip up your jacket
face your eyes front
keep your eyes on black
if he asks for another blunt

there's so many cuties
with asses for days
lemme check you out
bathe in your rays

i'm sorry for staring
but i can't help it here
you got me caring
whether i drink in here

find me

trying to get a light, trying to get a life
to never have to hold back again
to find your true love and your star in the sky above

windmill

how to even start? every beginning has an end
we're probably two sides of the same coin, not a trend.
hours of time fly by sitting there next to you,
liqour, weed, cigs, i want it all when i'm with you

i want to feel, i want to talk, i like the speed, i like your walk
i feel like i just woke up from a dream
like i dreamed you and our talking was a scene
if this is a movie, i don't wanna see the credits
i want to see your entrance and i wanna blow my bed up
physical vessel doesn't really mean a thing
i can offer for you if this really is our thing

it seems different now, like i've been cracked wide open
i don't wanna finish now, i wanna know you for a year or ten
i'm sorry if i pressured you or made you feel strange
i'm sorry that i messed up and i didn't fuckin' think

your words stick with me and i hope to stick to you
i'm caught up in your words & i wanna be your boo

necrophilia

faded lessons
learned in vain
complete opposite
of what you tried to train

at least you're sober
(or at most standing)
sorry for the situation
but your dog's dandy

was that an auburn grad?
in cycling gear?
or are you imagining
your sad truths made real?

the opposite of the stereotype
suddenly gentle despite the fights
no, he's tender with skin like silk,
gorgeous as hell, and can't sit still

this headband's got me
so high as fuck
i can't see me eyes
and i'm just hoping for luck

the worst guy

i like you and i want to taste
instead of rotting, of laying to waste
i remember you and your supple lips
i miss you and your subtle rips

the ones where you tear me down
make me giggle but never frown
i long for you and normalcy
but i'm stuck in ever-present truancy

i wish i saw you, to celebrate your birth
to give you the backbone and a sense of worth

but i ruined it
no, i ruined US
i'm sorry
i didn't mean to make a fuss