pep talk #93

in memory of those who lie in wait
in spite of those who died in vain
lick the bible then say your name
maybe the bill will be paid in veins

i could have held the door, for pete's sake
but i just can't imagine a sudden blaze
one where i fly off to the west with you by my side
or the one where i leave you to hitch a ride
or see you again for the seams to be resewed
so just keep quiet, don't need to feel berserk

especially since you can't seem to make rent,
maybe you need two jobs to end the day spent.
focus some more, get your shit in line
stop spending frivolously and be aware of time

ridiculously smothered, why don't you stay awhile?
why not perfect your secret weapon?
what if you suck it up and brighten your smile?

# 78

is this real? have i entered some kind of machine where i've gone back in time and you miss me? i was intense then but i'm worse now so  i don't know if you want to hear me but i miss you, even if i only think of him. i chase him to pass the time and try to get him to understand me on the level that you do. but he's so wrapped up in his own experience that he can't hear me. he sees me. but he can't hear me. you do. you smile at my flirts and our rapport is undeniable. i chased you hard for a reason, right? i realized your beauty and wanted to encourage it but you didn't see me. and now you do.
do i want you?
i want to provide for you. but we have to be together, in the same space, for it to work. i was so raw then, so ready and desperate for a place to belong and you let me stay. stay past my time. and now that i've convinced myself of a new project, you want me back.

ain't life a bitch.

deny deny deny

chocolate, i think
fused with a little berry
stupid, i drink
and hope to be more hairy

camel to couthe, we remember the tease
just a splash of vermouth, it's nothing but ease

nutella of sorts? oh how i wish for a drink
did i really spot him all alone at a sink?
he's based in a dreamer's paradise of locks
when you can do what you want, not conform to a box

we can meet together to just drink a coffee or two
to symbolize the time when i didn't miss you

tomb

let it linger
listen, still
you, sexy dreamer,
seem to fit the bill
i'm enamored, yes
by curious ways of your's
how you state the obvious
and yet you stay
i'm always amused
by your tripping state
and i love the way
you contemplate
the meaning of this,
the feeling of it all,
i would be remiss
if i dropped the ball.

i've tried slow,
and i know i'm always rushing
you have such an even flow
and i like to see you blushing.

remember the tyrants
don't get too tied up
in perilous thoughts
to thine own self be true,
too bad i'm stuck here
missing you

pass the day away,

why fly there
to sit and stay
and smoke a l o t
to be sad all day,
a broken thot.

go to where
you know no one
where your history
is a mystery
and they ask
you questions a l o t.

cause you're tired
of the same old
thoughts and
you like to
be away and
not from around
here.

so while it seems
like you should stay
i really think
i should go away.

errorgance

she speaks yet you stay silent
you're weak but claim you're violent
your scars are proof of your moral-less youth
auditory slave to the masses
but out there eating all sorts of asses
memory painted on a tv screen
fragility claimed with fatal urgency
fervently flamed with effervescent fury
you reach - untamed, unchained, unchanneled, untouched

nonplussed

reality star

three patchy old chairs

three seemingly old mares

with follied ways of

the slapping variety

but actually nothing

worth notoriety 

observations of ira #1

how swiftly he darts with little care
and only slows, a reflected stare
hidden safe behind the trunk
from that handsome cat in darkness,
the one he's afraid of